Leaving My Six-Figure Career…and How You Can Too!

Leaving a six figure career PINTEREST

At the time of this writing I am weeks away from walking away from a six-figure career. The last few years have been my most successful ever.  I am good at what I do.  And I am miserable doing it.  The weight of the responsibility of doing good work – the gravity of the consequences when, even the best work, results in a horrible outcome for your client…. it’s just too much.  Some spend their lives bearing this burden.  But the good criminal defense attorneys, the GREAT ones…it comes at a cost.

For over ten years, I have built my solo law practice and have grown my profitability every single year.  I don’t say this to toot my own horn – but simply to explain why leaving my practice is of significance and perhaps, also, be a source of encouragement for others who feel trapped in their current careers.

To continue my law practice, to continue serving my clients, would almost guarantee our family would reach our financial goals within about half the time that we have projected, and far in advance of the retirement age of most of the country – before we turn 50. We would be debt free.  We could retire comfortably.  We could do other work without regard for how much income it brought to our household – volunteer – complete passion projects.  How amazing would that be?

It WOULD certainly be an accomplishment.  But the cost…. it’s just not an expense I am willing to justify anymore.    I am sure there are some who would look at this decision and think that I am crazy…irresponsible even.  And maybe it’s true. In fact, it’s quite likely.

But the decision has not been made without serious contemplation.  A weighing of consequences and risks.  Introspection.  An inventory of the needs of our family – both financially and emotionally.  Input from our children, the Bigs and the Littles.  But primarily – I reflected on my own mental health.  Taking an honest, brutally honest, look at who I have become and who I wanted to be, not only for myself, but for the people I love.

We have been given this amazing opportunity to raise, not only our oldest children, but now – we are mom and dad to the most precious gifts, our Littles.  They were never part of our plan.  They were not a consideration when I became a lawyer fifteen years ago.  Life is funny like that, right?   You think you know your life…

In a matter of two years everything we thought we knew about our future was turned on its head.  It was an amazing turn of events and it was the beginning of the realization that our wants and our needs as a family were now different.  Not just the needs of our family as a unit – but my own.  Who I was as mom.  Who I was as a professional. Who I WANTED to be.

I wanted to be a better mother in my forties than I was in my twenties and thirties.  But not only a mother – a better friend.  A better business owner.  If I wanted to be all of these things, it meant I needed to make some changes.  I did not know exactly what that meant at the time, so I went about the business of figuring it out.  The entire process took several years.  If my story is resonating with you, don’t be discouraged – this process will hopefully not take as long for you as it did me.  My wish – is that memorializing this process will help you in your journey to discovering where you want to be, who you want to be and crafting a plan to get there.

I am in the beginning stages of career transition as a Realtor.  I also Blog and am launching a podcast, House of FI, in the very near future.  My income is uncertain.  I have no real safety-net.  But I AM certain – deep within my bones and throughout my spirit, that I will not fail.  I will succeed.

Have I always felt this much conviction?  No.  Fear has, at moments, been debilitating.  It has been a process.  A process I am now sharing with you.

In the next several weeks, we will be walking through the steps of making a career change.  The first step I recommend for any change is MINDSET.

If you are not willing to engage in a positive change in mindset – chances are very high that you will fail.  Your mind is your most powerful asset.  And we become who we believe we are. Thoughts are things.

But how do we change them…

Put your phone down.  It should not be the first thing you see in the morning.  Looking at your phone makes your thought processes reactionary.  You respond to the images and words you see.

Don’t look at your email for the same reasons.  It can all wait.

Read.  Read EVERY day.  A minimum of 15 minutes.  At the beginning of the day.  How you begin your day matters. If you are not sure what to read – I have started a list of my favorite books.  Each has impacted my life in a significant way. You can find them here.

If you simply can’t find 10-15 minutes to read in a quiet spot, then get an audio book.  Listen during your morning commute.  As you work-out.  While taking a bath.  But do it.  It’s Non-negotiable.

Make daily affirmations and/or motivational videos/audio’s part of your morning routine as well.

I used to think affirmations were silly.  But then I changed my mindset.  I began exploring affirmation APP’s and recordings on YouTube.  I ended up finding a book written by Florence Scovil Shinn, written in the early 1900’s.  It’s full of timeless affirmations and real-life experiences.  It finally clicked for me.  I wrote down several affirmations that spoke to me, I recorded them on my iPhone and saved them to my notes.  They are just a few minutes long, but I listen to them every day.  Some are merely affirmations of gratitude.  Saying thank you for life, health…family. Expressing gratitude is one of the best ways to build positive thoughts.

I have come to realize and believe, wholeheartedly, the affirmations I speak into my life every day have contributed to my success and over-all well-being. When I speak positive words out of my mouth, they travel to my ears, then continue to my brain.  My whole body.  I FEEL BETTER.  I FEEL empowered.  I am more determined.  The negative feelings and fear leave me.  I walk taller.  I speak more confidently.

So, give it a try.  (I find it works best when I put my headphones on and listen while I walk or work out.)

To Recap, your first step…. work on your mindset.

Flood your body and mind with positive and encouraging words every day in the form of books, motivational recordings and/or positive affirmations. Make it a habit.

Now that we have gotten your mind in the right place, we can move forward to discovering your “WHY”.

Love and Prosperity

Your girl.FI.day

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

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Flipped @ Forty – Turning Our Finances Around at Forty…Again.

Flipped @ Forty Finances PINTERESTPhoto by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash

I sometimes feel our history with our finances mirror the story of an addict.  You hit rock bottom, you sober up.  You work really, really hard towards getting your act together.  Sometimes there are set-backs.  Other times, you fall completely off the wagon and are in full crises mode once again.  But eventually…hopefully…there is recovery.  Long lasting recovery.  You will always be an addict. You will always be faced with the temptations that could lead to a relapse.  You will always have a tiny bit of fear of the “what if”…But if super dedicated and committed to recovery – you can enjoy the life you have always wanted.

Financial recovery.  That’s where we are.  At 47.  Recovery from several years of financial relapse.

They say, (whoever “they” are) that your attitude about money begins in childhood.  What you were taught, what you saw, how money or lack thereof, affected you.  And I would say this is true.  Both the Hubbs (HB) and I grew up without a lot of money or guidance about money and debt.

For most of HB’s childhood, after his parents divorced, he was raised by a single mom. His mom worked really hard and long hours to take care of herself and her kids.  They were not poor – but it was hard.  Money had to be stretched.  Conversations about money were limited to how they needed to make more of it.

I watched my parents work their way out of poverty.  On my dad’s side of the family, I saw first-hand what poverty looked like.  It was a source of pride that my dad had gone to college and had “made it”.  My mom’s parents, on the other hand, still shopped at dented can stores, stockpiled canned goods, and brought us over government cheese and peanut butter.  At the time, I did not quite understand the significance of that.  I do now.

But there were never any conversations about money in our house, except when the request to buy something was met with “we can’t afford it.”

When we married at age 25, while still in college and expecting our first child, neither HB or I understood the importance of savings.  We also did not understand that it meant more than just working to draw retirement or until you could make it 62 ½ to collect social security.

For a long time, I believed college was an impossibility because we didn’t have the money.  That was one area HB had some advantage; he received a football scholarship from the University of Nevada, Reno.  I had all but given up on college until, through coworkers, I learned about student loans.  And so, began the cycle of taking out as much as I could get in student loans each semester, without really understanding the consequences of how much I was taking out, or the importance of only taking out what I needed.  I can’t tell you how much of that money was blown on non-essentials…the thought of it makes my stomach turn.

Besides.  I was going to be a lawyer and earn A LOT money.  Imagine my shock when I learned my starting salary at my first job as an attorney only paid $42,000.00 a year.  Far from the six figures I had been banking on and clearly not enough to pay back the balances that were now well over six-figures.

Long before this time, HB had also lost his scholarship due to an injury and began working to support our small family.  At nights, he attended private universities to get his teaching credentials and master’s degree.  Again, we borrowed as much as they would give us and he quickly racked up six-figures as well.

Then life kind of took over, and we began pursuing what we thought was the American Dream.  Who knew that it was bought on credit.  We bought our first house, almost entirely mortgaged.  That’s what you were supposed to do right?  Graduate and then buy a house. This was followed by two cars – both financed.  We “needed” them.  We were both professionals now and our family was growing.  I couldn’t drive my two-door Honda Civic anymore. I was a lawyer now.

And then we needed to get “things” for the house.  Houses require things.  Financed furniture. You can’t put old furniture in a new house! A pool…in ground, with custom waterfalls and mosaic turtles swimming on the bottom!  Of course…This was Phoenix.  You can’t live in Phoenix, without a pool.  People die there without them.

Yes.  It was a slippery slope.  Totally our making. No one else was responsible but us. But it soon became too much and we were barely treading water in our fancy-schmancy pepple-tec pool.

But there was a solution.  Bankruptcy!  I jest. It was not a solution.  It was a Band-Aid.  It relieved some of the pressure – but it didn’t solve the underlying issues of spending and of not saving for our future.  After the bankruptcy, we quickly charged up our credit cards, AGAIN. There were more things that needed buying.  Repairs that couldn’t wait.  This went on for several years and then crises hit.  We were “victims” of the real estate bubble.   Suddenly we had two houses that both were valued at half of what they were mortgaged for.  We were over extended.  Ultimately, we lost both our primary house and the investment property.  (Which it never really was – because it never made us any money.)

Shortly after the market crash, we were very fortunate to discover Dave Ramsey and Financial Peace University through our church.  His books and classes were exactly what we needed, at that time in our lives. He helped us learn what a budget was.  Helped us understand the importance of an emergency fund and of living within our means. We did everything he told us to do.  We followed his baby-steps.  We made significant progress for several years.  But we never made it out of Baby Step 2.  For YEARS that’s where we remained. It was discouraging and eventually, the momentum gave and, though we didn’t increase our debt by much, we didn’t make any progress either.

There were some relapses.  Not anything like what we experienced during the market crash.  But there was some life-style creep too.

We had purchased another home.  Relocated to a new city.  Added to our family.  We were both making really good incomes.  But there was no real hope of ever getting ahead.  The balances on our student loans were SO BIG.  And they just seemed to get bigger due.  We were resigned that this was going to be our lives.  Paying off debt and never being able to save for retirement.  The debt was going to follow us to our graves.  We wanted more for our lives – but we had no belief of how that was even possible.

Then, over the course of a few years of searching for a way to get out of this rut, I discovered this crazy-weird-almost cult-like FIRE community . (Financial Independence/Retire Early) It was almost like a religious experience.  My eyes opened wide and I began devouring every article, blog and podcast I could find.  I have discussed that more extensively in a previous post.

I think most addicts will tell you they remember a moment that changed everything for them.  It was almost like that.  Finally, there was hope.  There was a way to achieve what we wanted.  A mind-shift.  We began to see things from the perspective of what we COULD do to change our circumstances and not limit our thinking to what obstacles were in our way.  That was the key.  Not just having the knowledge of how to achieve what we wanted – but the BELIEF that we could.

Since then…(It has been almost exactly a year), we have made incredible-unbelievable gains.  I have seen the numbers, and I can’t barely believe them myself.  If there were any doubt left in me before that we couldn’t do this…they are gone.  We CAN do this. We ARE doing this.  Next week, I will explain how we have increased our net worth (reduced our negative net worth – more correctly) by $86,000.00 in ten months.  Come back and see me – I hope will come into the light as well.

Love and Prosperity,

Your GirlFIday

 

 

 

 

 

Flipped @ Forty – Flipping the Script on my Career

Flipped @ forty.png

Gosh, when I was 16, forty was Old!  Not just old…but Ooooooooooold.  And here I am, not just forty, but on the upswing to fifty.  At the  time I am writing this, I will be celebrating my 47th birthday next week.  It’s almost incomprehensible to me.  And it makes me appreciate the cliché that, age is just a number.  I get it now.  Like, I really, REALLY get it.  I would never go back to twenty. Or even thirty for that matter.  Because, for me, life really started getting exciting at forty.

But it didn’t begin there.  In fact, in several areas of my life, the beginning of my forties began with a lot of heartache, despair and a feeling that I just didn’t know where or who I was anymore.  I understand why people have mid-life crises. Because that was me.  I didn’t go out a buy a convertible Camaro (Red.  With a back stripe down the hood and a black top with black leather interior – I didn’t get it, but I certainly did think about it an awful lot.) Instead, I got a red convertible Beetle.  The car I dreamed about when I was 16 years old but could never afford. I named her Lola Beatle and she was my mid-life crisis car. Have you gotten yours yet?

In this series of posts, I would like to share with you how I was able to flip the script on my forties.  My hope is that if you are at or near your forties and feel that it’s too late to start –you will realize that your forties do not have to be the beginning of the end, but simply the beginning.

For me, for my family, we started over in three significant areas of our lives in our forties.  We started our family over at forty, we began to really turn our finances around in our mid-forties and I started a new career recently, nearing 47. These were all BIG changes.  Changes many would never make at this stage in life for a lot of reasons, fear, complacency, or simply not knowing how.  Change is hard.  Change is scary.  REALLY really scary sometimes.  But doable.  SO DOABLE.

In this first post, I want to share how I started my career change.  Out of all of the areas of my life this is the one that took the longest.  It was a seven-year journey, full of hills and long, deep and sorrow-filled valleys.   The journey was long, but the moment I knew I needed a career change is vividly clear.

At the time, I had just begun a law partnership with a someone I considered one of my best friends.  Mistake number one.  We were two very different people and, while that was great for a friendship, not so much for business.  We were six months into our partnership and my family was on a short vacation in San Diego.  I was sitting on a beach reading a book and something in the book caused me to recall a negative comment my partner had made to me about our choice to adopt.  In that moment, I knew that I had to leave the partnership.   That our differences in family commitments, personal beliefs and business dynamic were already so far apart, that it was not going to last.  That the sooner we dissolved it, even if painful, the better.

And it WAS painful.  My partner did not understand, though I tried to explain.  She was hurt.  And I get that – I would have been too if the roles were reversed.  She had no idea it was coming.  Sadly, we never recovered.  And even now, it is a loss that still hurts my heart.

At the same time, I began to be dissatisfied with practicing law.  I was in the beginning stages of burnout.  Though I was making a decent income, enjoyed my colleagues and running my own practice immensely – I knew that the end of the runway was coming.  What followed was four years of soul-searching.  Knowing that I needed to find a new career – but unsure of what “that” was.  I combed the internet for careers.  Thought long and hard about what I thought I was good at, what I thought I wanted and I arrived at entering corporate America as an executive.  I was certain I would be successful and if I played my cards right, I would land a position in a company that allowed International travel – which was a huge bonus.

I was accepted into the Executive MBA program at my alma mater, Arizona State University, which had an International component and I began my studies.  It was exhilarating.  I enjoyed being in a learning environment – I thrived engaging with my classmates, many that were already executives and feeling that I belonged.  I had found my place.

The year prior to my entry into the MBA program we adopted our first foster-child.  He was almost two years old when I began the program.  I was in my second month of the program when our world was rocked upside down with the news that my son had two little brothers in foster-care – it was a sucker punch we never saw coming.  CPS wanted us to take them.  It changed everything.  They were 13-months old and a brand-new three-week old baby.  When they asked, there was no hesitation.  Our choice was clear, we had to take the babies.  Our son deserved to know his brothers and they deserved to know him.  The whole adventure of their arrival and departure was one of the most precious and grief-filled periods of my life and too much to go into detail here, this is, after all a post about career-change…(you can read about it, though, if you want to HERE.) but I digress…

Getting the babies meant I had to choose.  And I chose them.  There was no other option.  I could not run my law practice, care for three babies under 2 and also continue pursuing my MBA.  Though the choice was clear, but I was still devastated.  I was SO SURE.  I was SO SURE I had found my path.  I had prayed and prayed for answers and so when I was accepted into the MBA program – I believed that was the answer.  It was not.  That realization was painful, so very painful.

Our lives were consumed with the babies and after the babies left, two more babies came to us by the grace of God.  They ended up being THE answer, but I was still so filled with grief about the loss of Jaycob’s brothers and having to give up on my MBA, that I did not know that my boys were going to lead us to the answer at the time.  (If you are lost about the growth of our family – I know, it IS complicated – start here and read all 6 parts.  It will all make sense.)

It was during that whole tumultuous time that I realized all I wanted was to have more time with my kids.  I missed out on so much with my older two that I knew I wanted it to be different for our little boys.  The quandry was that I was still the bread-winner and our family relied on my income.  The pull to be home with my boys became almost unbearable.  It was then that I began researching how I could both have my practice and be at home.  I applied for a contract that would allow me to largely work from home.  Several months later I was excited to learn I had gotten it.  I was now able to earn the income our family was accustomed to – but also allowed me more time with my children.  It was perfect.  Almost.

We were now at year five of my mid-life career-crisis journey.  By this time, my husband had found a position in San Diego, something that we had dreamed of for years.  We were delighted to also learn that due to his increased income and health benefits, we were in a much better position financially.  And because I was primarily working from home, we were able to relocate to San Diego without a significant decrease in our income.  I continued to work my practice in Phoenix, making the drive between Phoenix and San Diego whenever I needed to.

But we were miserable, not with our life in San Diego – that was near perfect, but with the drain my traveling took on all of us.  I was also at the breaking point.  I was approaching full burn-out and my practice was suffering.  My mental-health was affected.  My children were impacted every time I had to leave.  The travel was straining my marriage.  It was time to do something.

I went back to the drawing board.  I took inventory of my skills and what I wanted out of a career.  Becoming a full-time stay-at-home-mom was not an option, nor a desire if I am 100% honest, though I knew that if I did not figure something out soon – I was not going to be able to make the choice to quit, it would be made for me.  So, I sat again on the beach.  That is MY place. I took mental note of all the things I knew I wanted. I wanted to be my own boss, I wanted a career that I could have unlimited income potential and one that I would not have to spend a fortune going back to school for.

Real Estate!  Becoming a Realtor checked every box for me.  I had briefly been licensed in Phoenix, but had not done much with it.  I knew that I could do it, if I was focused, and cimmitted to treating it as a business. So, I purchased the courses, studied extremely hard and got my license.

I am now six months in to my real estate career and I am seeing it grow every single day.  I am slowly winding down my law practice and anticipate I will be able to retire it after I have completed the handful of cases that remain on my caseload.

I turn 47 next week.  Just a year ago, I saw the end of the runway approaching faster and faster.  I was running out of time and catastrophe was ahead.  Today, I am hopeful.  I am invigorated.  I am excited to grow my real estate business.  I foresee the future we have planned for our kids.  I am home with them and they are thriving.  I am also fulfulled as a working mom, an entrepeunuer.  I get the best of both worlds.  The best ME in both those worlds.  And it’s just the beginning.

If you’re scared.  I know.  Starting over is scary.  Scary hard.  Fo-shizzle!  But – the one thing I learned through this tumultuous journey is this…stand firm.  When your whole world is crumbling around you, and you are full of fear.  Stand firm in it.  Because it will pass.  The fear will subside and it will be replaced with resolve.  And as soon as you find your resolve – then you take action. You are in charge of your life – it is up to you to change it.

Love and Prosperity,

Your GirFIday